Woman Leaves Her House, Instantly Regrets It

Still me, every day…

BOURGEOIS ALIEN

Gainesville, Fl- A woman left her house on what appeared to be a normal Monday. She told a local reporter, “I knew I had to go buy a few things at the market for several days, but put it off because I’m not really a “people person.”  The woman, who prefers to remain anonymous, remarked that leaving her house can be “a total shit-fest.”

Upon walking out the front door, the woman said it sucked immediately when the neighbors she hates that seem to “always leave their house at the exact same fucking time. I mean…what is that?” were standing right in front of her. “I then had to smile and wave, so gross…and these people have plastic flowers in…

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